


Long List Of Ex-Lovers (I'll Write My Name)

by AngelsMayDie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, Birthday, Crack to angst, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9713441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsMayDie/pseuds/AngelsMayDie
Summary: (Jaehyun B-day Tribute) It's the 14th of February, the national single awareness day and for Jaehyun his birthday which would supposedly expire without much happening until Ten decided to gather some of his most noteworthy exes and conduct an impromptu ex-lovers convention.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Rushed.  
> Grammar unchecked. Sorry if it bothers you.

Ah the 14th of February, the international couples day (or international sex night) and also the national single awareness day. Pretty much it was the latter for Jung Jaehyun. But it’s his 20th birthday, and with the blessing of his strict mother dearest, he’s allowed to invite the whole uni for a night of booze and banging music at their mansion so he gets that going for him. 

  
His birthday used to be the worst day of the year ever since he’s 10, at least according to him. For starters, he has this personal yet irrational loathing towards the color red, which pretty much take over everything for the day’s duration – from the bouquets of roses, helium-filled heart-shaped balloons up to the gift packaging and overkill decorations. One could say he’s eyes burn from all the red. Second, people takes his birthday for granted. By people he means those who matters to him, of course he’s not that egotistic. If most thinks it’s convenient to attach one’s birthday to a popular ‘holiday???’ but behind his smiles after being called a Valentine baby was an insidious Jaehyun . He thinks it’s downright lazy. Most pertinently, in spite of being in numerous amorous relationship, he has to be freaking single. That’s actually a double-edged sword since he won’t be stuck on a petty argument with his significant other for handing him 2-in-1 gift (sorry Christmas babies!) But on the other far foreboding side, it’s better to be in between a rock and a hard place than being all alone.

It wasn't much of a surprise when his visitors merely form a crowd, it's a freaking Tuesday and only hardcore alcoholics don't mind a hangover in a Wednesday morning, Coupled it with the day coinciding with Valentines day, naturally students had much better to do (someone to do?). It was more astounding when some of his friends brought their significant other over but only to be disappointed because tongue hockey is the people's choice pf sport for the night.

 

 

The party's lit and what's a better proof than police officers banging at his door to fetch muggers who blend in his open gate party. The crowd went wild from the scene, taking picture and posting it on Social media.He can already hear his mother from a far, giving him an earful but Jaehyun's just to ecstatic to be the host of a wild stomp but the only thing to spoil the night was a fucking power outage, effectively rendering his booming systems useless, terminating the party prematurely. The crowd dispersed, evacuating the dark halls, livingit darker.

"I know how we'll enjoy the dark together!" Ten called the remanding people (mostly his closest  friends) who pledged to sort out the mess once the party si over. His friends were holding out their cell phones as a source of lighting order to navigate their way across and around and pick up thrash thoughtlessly thrown in random direction. All the illumination gather's in one person (ten) and it made him look like he's in a stage hogging the spotlight.

"Ten, where not calling ghost. The last time you did, you scared yourself. Remember?"  Jaehyun won't risk infesting his parents' home...nor potentially burn it down due to certain sacrificial rites.

"Gary is a misunderstood spirit, he just want's somebody to be with him. But I wasn't into that anymore. I am thinking we should make a Jaehyun's exes convention. You know. Discussing your faults and flaws and play with your emotions." Ten retaliates while everyone in the room who unfortunately has been his lover agrees it's fun (for them not so much for Jaehyun.)

Most of them formed a huge circle, pushing all furniture and fixtures until they hit the walls then padding their butts on the tiled floor while some prepares candles to light up the receiving area. "Y'all look like a cult-turd in your natural habitat."

“Mind tagging me in?” Doyoung, his best friend and arguably the best in the bunch, entered the conversation, clearly exhausted from ushering out drunk-beyond comprehensible schoolmates, preventing them from puking or scratching tailored furniture, separating horny people humped on top of another and is actually doing a great job considering the blackout disposing trash than Ten, the self-acclaimed after-‘after-party coordinator’.

“Oh good! It’s Jaehyun’s exes’ convention. We will be discussing why did they broke up in order to help him be a better partner. Sure. you’re still not in. Yet.” Ten cheekily quips. “But as his best friend who has the honors to comfort him through break-ups, you’d most likely relate so I don’t see the problem.”

“Juicy~ I’m definitely in.”

“I hate you.” Jaehyun pouted as he sinks deep in the couch and deeper into humiliation plane.

“You don’t mean it. As always.”

“Now I’m starting to mean it now.”

“Oh, come on. I’ll takes notes for you. Or tape this. You know, for future references.” Doyoung wiggles his eyes teasingly.

“I guess 20 years old is already long enough. Please take me.” Jaehyun muttered to no one in particular.

Doyoung wasn’t kidding when he said he will take notes…yeah, and the ‘taping it’ part, too. With the camera focused on them and a few leftover pizzas and munchers on the table Ten sets the session in motion.

“So here’s what’s going to be. One by one, we say our name, and straight into it, tell the reason or reasons why did you broke-up with Jaehyun.” Ten claps his hands together. “Shall we start? Let’s go with Yuta first.”

Yuta waves at the camera. “Hello. I’m Nakamoto Yuta.”

“OMG, we all know each other!” Jaehyun cringed at how Yuta pretends to be that cute newcomer.

“SHHHHHHH!”

“As I was saying. I’m Yuta and I broke up with him because he was racists. I tried to change his awful mindset but I can’t. I guess I was not the one for him.” Yuta ended it by wiping fake tears. Everybody clapped like they were in social therapy when someone summoned courage and finally relieve their burden by telling off what’s been bothering him. Oh, Doyoung writes ‘racist’ on his trusty notepad, too.

“That’s a lie. We broke because of food. I like most but I when I said Japanese food isn’t exactly my cup of tea, you went ape shit on me.”

“Hohoho! You called takoyaki peasant’s food.” Yuta spats.

“Right after you called spicy rice cakes dumb. How am I supposed to react?” Jaehyun retaliated.

“Stop it both of you.” Ten would actually like to witness a fist fight but not with them so…Their month-old relation indeed fall apart because two are too petty for each other.

“I hate you”, Jaehyun whispered to Doyoung who puts ‘easily triggered like it’s still 2016’.

“I love you, too.”

“You could at least take ‘racist’ off.”

 

 

 

“Ok, Sooyoung you may take the floor.” Ten instructed.

“Drum roll, cue.” A taller-than-average curvy woman blasted a hand-formed gun to the air, like she’s the ring leader calling shots. “Park Sooyoung, 19, South KOREA!!! I believe in the saying that real beauty can be found inside so bitches should lock up because of their delusional belief of being pretty cause they ain’t me.” She waves like a desperate contestant in a beauty pageant.

“Please refrain from being extra. We mean business. Just tell us why did you break up with Jaehyun.” Ten scolded Sooyoung for her tipsy behavior but alcohol speaks.

“I’m gay.” Sooyoung said flatly as she falls to sleep.

“That went well, no negatives. Move on.” Jaehyun said but he peeks at Doyoung who’s scribbling in his notepad.

“What the fuck! Slash that or I’ll slash you.”

Everybody went in a frenzied laughter when Doyoung showed them what he wrote: ‘makes male species so bad he turns pretty girls gay’ with a caption inside the parenthesis: ‘probably too small’.

His relationship with Sooyoung lasted more than his other exes (3 months, still not impressive but hey, it’s somethin’). Maybe it did last longer because she was his first and he fears heartaches so he really did try. But at the end, Sooyoung was actually using him as a coverboy. You know. Like how gay men pretends they’re straight by having a girlfriend to ‘cover up’ their preference, hence the word covergirl, but it’s the reverse in their situation.

 

 

 

“Okay, boo. You’re up.” Ten carries on his job, signaling Johnny, his current boyfriend, to reveal the why’s in their break up.

“Hey squares! It’s your daddy, Johnny in the house.” Johnny greeted the camera like he’s an A-list popstar with zero class.

To be honest Jaehyun doesn’t actually remembered being with together-together with Johnny in the first place so why bother retaining the break-up? Easiest break-up to be honest. It’s like Johnson’s baby bath. No tears formula. If only other break-ups would be like that, that would be welcomed.

“I broke up with him because he’s too scary.” Johnny said wearily.

“Mind expounding your answer, babe.” Ten seems unable to know what’s in Johnny’s head. Not many knows what’s in his pretty little head and what makes Ten perfect for him is that he knows what’s actually in his head 99% of the time and actually don’t mind doing it with him. Sadly, that statement belong to the lost 1%.

“You see, he likes baking and studying and working out and he always rats me out on my mother. He always has things to say and makes me do a lot of stuff…” it goes on without actually substantiating arguments because of his limited vocabulary, like his favorite words were ‘things’ and ‘stuff’.

“That’s because you like eating and flanking school and gluing yourself to the couch.”

Doyoung wrote ‘bossy’ and ‘perfectionist’ to the growing list of why’s.

 

 

 

 

 

“Now let’s go to the one who holds the record for being in a relationship shorter than Britney Spears can say DIVORCE! Oops I did it again!” Ten’s attention span shorter than a newborn has proven its shortness when he started dancing in Britney’s hit.

“Taeyong, why don’t you spill your side of the story.” Doyoung took charge facilitating the exes’ convention because Ten was ‘lost in the game. Oh babeh babehh!’

Taeyong looks nervous. Jaehyun thinks he should be. They never ever brought this up to salvage their friendship and somehow, Jaehyun is a hundred percent certain he didn’t do anything wrong. What could he possibly do in 16 hrs of being boyfriends with Taeyong. Yup! Sixteen friggin hours into it before Taeyong calls it off. Taeyong had to come clean. He likes Jaehyun but not in that way. Taeyong’s just frustrated with the real love of his life not noticing him.

Jaehyun likes to think he wasn’t being used because Taeyong’s crush was his upperclassman who pays the younger a lot of attention but Taeyong had to slap him the truth, that their friendship started with Taeyong’s intention of befriending him was just to get in Moon Taeil’s pants. At first Jaehyun thought he was kidding, it’s absurd, the reason, the timeline but then it’s not impossible.

They remained friends though. The moving on phase was pretty short, too but relatively longer than the entire relationship.

“I don’t what to say. I am at fault, in all honesty.” That got Jaehyun feel pretty good. At least Doyoung had nothing to lengthen that list.

“Hypothetically speaking, without Taeil in the picture, how do you see yourself break-up with Jaehyun.” Doyoung is freaking determined to dig dirt on him it hurts.

“How dare you assume we will break-up?”

“Honestly, I won’t even bother dating him.” Taeyong really looked honest and look apologetically to Jaehyun, “Sorry but you’re too whiney, Jae, I’d kick you out anytime.”

“The nerve! I beg to differ.” Jaehyun wanted to oppose.

“I’m backing Taeyong on this.” Yuta quips.

“It’s a universal fact, Jae. You’re whining about this. You whine about that. You whine at everything so don’t even think to fight us on this.” Ten snaps out of his mini-Britney concert just to insult him.

Doyoung, satisfied, proceeds to jot ‘a bona fide man-child’.

Freaking fantastic.

  
  
  
“Let’s skip Taeil because he’s a closeted Taeyong stan.”

“Wait no!!! You may not know this but Taeil is Jaehyun’s first crush back in elementary!” Doyoung revealed and everybody gasps.

“Why are we even friends?”

“Relax. It’s in the past.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Then you should had stopped yourself from doing shit back then.” By far, Doyoung’s the embarrassing one, dabbing randomly in one corner and shouts shit. But he knows being fake funny is just a coping mechanism for the hell that is college. It’s a breather, weird but way more acceptable than cigarettes and substance abuse. He remembers Doyoung in his childhood is the boy that had everything a parent could ask for compacted into one tiny angel. But time really does change people, and sadly for the absolute worse. More often than not.

“So how do we go with this.” Ten asked.

“Okay Taeil, choose your way to break Jaehyun’s heart.” Doyoung’s eyes twinkled with mischief.

“I really don’t know what to say. I’m flattered and speechless.” Taeil con

“I used to think you’re cool.” Jaehyun confessed.

“Really?!”

“Honey, ‘used to’, way down the past.” Taeyong teased his boyfriend.

“You don’t think I’m cool?”

“I’m obligated.”

“Bye!” Taeil tries to walk out but Taeyong latched on his arms.

“But honey you don’t have to be anything because I love you just the way you are.” The whole room was filled with mass gagging sounds because that’s just severely greasy.

“But really, in a setting were Jaehyun actually had the courage to ask you out and eventually got together, when will you break up and why?” Doyoung was on a roll.

“YAS! Doyoung and the most important question. Got to give him hearts.” Ten fires small hearts poorly formed from overlapping his thumb and index finger were as Jaehyun was refraining the give Doyoung the middle.

“I don’t know.”

“Stop, saying I don’t know. Or maybe because you like Jaehyun more than Taeyong.” Once again, the deadly Doyoung-Ten combo proved their lethality: Doyoung with his spiky questions and Ten with his evil persuasions.

"I don't like his varsity team. Not only were they snub but some were just mean."Taeil visibly shudders. Doyoung adds 'bad choice of friends' he wanted to shot back like avoiding his previous statement was better than hanging with the gang. 

"I think were being a little bit mean on Jaehyun. We should cut him some slack. He's fucking single on Valentines day." Yuta chimed.

"Come to think of it. Most, if not all, of us entered into a better relationship. Look at yuo,Yuta. You have met Hansol. And you Johnny and Ten. You both found a person who's not embarrassed with any of your shit." Taeyong added. He looks at Taeil lovingly and the ret knew what he's talking.

"Wow I feel so much better. It's like slapping me with the fact that most people are better than me at making people happy." Jaehyun said sarcastically.

"Oops, we pulled wrong nerve." Johnny pummels Doyoung's back knowing he has that magical method that sooths Jaehyun's rage. He gets queasy hearing Jaehyun growl and sarcastically balistic at the same time.

"You know you two should date." Ten looks at the two best friends antics, Jaehyun about to commit murder upon anybody while Doyoung locking the younger in his embrace, throwing himself in the fire just to protect the group of offenders.

Good thing about a being let down too many times is that he learn to appreciate little things like the power returning which means he's free to kick them out without feeling guilty if they met accident outside. Soon enough everybody went home but Doyoung choose to stay for the night.

 

 

 

 

 

“I’ve been thinking about what Ten said.” Doyoung enlivens the silence while cleaning the last batch of plates, while Jaehyun dries the water residue.

“Please, I’m all beat up. The last thing I need is you concurring to anything.” Jaehyun snapped back, thinking that it’s about how Jaehyun hasn’t found at least one meaningful relationship and is most likely not in the near future, too.

The wordless agreed in postponing this conversation. Leaving it hanging would be the best choice because both were aware of how sensitive Jaehyun is and with brittle plates around was enough warning that the moment is not appropriate for any arguments.

“I’m talking about us.” Doyoung resumed the conversation upon taking his familiar place at the edge of the recliner in the younger’s room – Jaehyun falling to his bed eyes glued to the open ceiling, opening the T.V., flips the channel and settling to the dull late night recaps of today’s news.

“What about…it?” ‘Us’ was too hard to handle at the moment. The pronoun makes his heart flutter inexplicably. This topic was not exactly taboo, but no one did not surface it. Because ‘us’ is a vague permanence. Because Jaehyun and Doyoung will always be Jaehyun with Doyoung. Because the trust between the two is a given, a constant, yet had no origin (or nobody just try to seek it/them). Because it wasn’t important. Because in the back of their mind ‘us’ meant forever – but what’s after forever? Forever friends? But friends were too shallow to capture what’s between.

“Why didn’t we hook up?” Jaehyun learning to use the break of his own impulsiveness, like he’s feeling to throw a statement, verbatim or analogous to, ‘that’s absurd!’ because knowing Doyoung, he’ll follow up with ‘why?’ and truthfully does not how to supply. All he gave was a dry shrug: universal understanding dictates of him not knowing to feign ignorance.

“Was it the best friend code?” Ah the infamous best friend code! The unwritten but very carefully observed rule not to enter in relationship beyond platonic with your best friend. This was founded because in doing so, puts you in a situation where you are debilitated to steam out your frustrations towards your significant other to your best friend because your best friend happens to be your (girl)boyfriend whom you’re dealing with. And the most brooding of them all was the intensified feeling when one delivers the finale. Normally, going through such, best friends were the who helps you get by, tended your wounds, or at least prevent you from killing yourself when you’re drunk and suicidal. But when best friends merge with boyfriends and break-ups will yield in a fiesta of self-berating, god questioning and existential crisis. Moving on will feel like hell, like excruciatingly slow you’ll wish instant painless death. The ‘don’t-do-you-best-friend’ rule is indeed pragmatic. Yet, Jaehyun was surprisingly not inundated by the theory of going romantic with his best friend, Doyoung.

“No,” Jaehyun almost inaudibly answered. “I would like to think nothing would best that kind of relationship. Because with your best friend, you’re not forced to pretend you’re cool and shit. Because unfortunately, best friends are omnipresent when it comes to the most embarrassing moments of your life. Sure, they laugh at your face, but you feel he or she means well. I don’t get why people fear being hurt like couples fight every single moment when there’s a broader option to be happy. I’d bet time well spent with your best-friend turned lover would be magnified, a hundred folds even.” Jaehyun didn’t even what he’s saying nor provide a support for his claims, but in his little head, that love was rarer, yes, definitely riskier, but the rewards were far too valuable to let that pass.

“How about we gave ‘us’ a shot?” Jaehyun’s brain went haywire, neither the question nor the fact the Doyoung’s veiny hands clasps his, fingers fitting. When did he join him in bed? Why does his palms feels good against his own? Questions pops, floats and explodes but the universe is dead silent for answers.

Bolts of current sparks on the top of his skin when Doyoung’s free hand run through his cheeks, to his jaws until a single finger halts, settling on his chin. Without exerting brute force, Doyoung’s finger seduced him to come closer and meet that pinks plush with his own lips. Three, four seconds is too long for his brain but too short for his awakened desire.

“Is that okay?” Doyoung retracted, but mere inches away for another taste and Jaehyun wants to protest because the kiss was not okay in so many levels, tripled heart rate – bad for the heart obviously and so on but he can’t still focus because of their noses touching and breaths mingling.

Jaehyun was stricken. He realized it’s Doyoung first kiss and the negotiation now would potentially lead to his first relationship. Years of being best friend, or so he claims, it never crossed his mind, of Doyoung dating somebody. Anybody. What’s his type? Does he like boys exclusively?

 

“Stop playing.”, is all Jaehyun could muster.

“I’m not.”

“Stop lying first.”

“I’m not”

Doyoung is fond of lying, especially for Jaehyun’s sake. Every time someone breaks up with him, people would ask if he’s doing fine. And every time, he answers positively, telling people off he’s well, alive and kicking like break ups were not like throwing your heart out in the open, only for it to be returned back because there’s something awfully wrong about it. But under Doyoung’s scrutiny, his tears can’t lie. He detests it, worded it, slapping he’s okay on his face but he just cracks in Doyoung’s embrace and him telling he’s right, that he’s okay when clearly, he’s not.

That’s had always been their dynamics every single time somebody calls it off with Jaehyun, the younger would lie about his state just to cope and comes, never questioning. Every damn instance, he insists he’s golden and Doyoung did not resist, instead he joins him in his charades. Lying together brought a bed of emotional comfort.

He thought that the protocol was toxic like weaving lies would breed a dysfunctional mindset because he thinks he’ll cave in and live in a false reality just to purchase sleep at night. But when Doyoung outright lies, when Doyoung said ‘Yeah, just like you said. Never better.’, he had this compulsive reaction to preserve Doyoung’s infallibility intact, to make the statement true, to be genuinely well. He’d challenge his self, transmuting the bogus to undeniably true. That ensemble eases the process of moving because in that illogical rationalizing he had the drive to live better.

Jaehyun clearly remembers how Doyoung patronizes his lies – with eye contact. Because the only way to perpetuate them was to not look at those orbs of truth. Because his eyes has to be a dead giveaway. But right now, Doyoung claiming he wasn’t lying, he had his eyes on him.

The he remembers. People change. Doyoung is one, no exception there. There was no tangible assurance whether Doyoung’s deception skills evolved from Jaehyun forcing to lie for him over and over again until it was a poisonous habit. But his half of his head created a happy delusion that Doyoung earnestly asks him to be together, closer.

Doyoung sets again for his lips, this time, more teeth and tongue in validation of his contention. Doyoung does things to Jaehyun. Baffled, bewildered, bewitch, the only real reason to pull out of lip lock was the earthly reality that they had their lungs vitality to maintain.

“Do you want to go out with me?” Doyoung asked with his raspy, lowered tone that so gruff it’s painfully sexy.

“No.” an insipid reply escapes the younger’s lips.

“Why?” Jaehyun predicted it will boil to ‘why’s’. Doyoung is kid that looks beyond the ‘what’s’. He never let anything slip under him with knowing the ‘why’s’.

Now Jaehyun feels the gravity of loving your own best friend pulling him to the ground, how his body feels exponentially heavier. That’s when it hits him. He’s committing mistakes of the past.

“Because I’m too easy. I fall stupidly fast.” He croaks because he feels weak and worthless because the brevity of the kiss turned him fuzzy, falling dangerously, down rapidly with no foreseeable cushion to break his fall. Not knowing what awaits was the least frightening because now he’s presented a classic scene where he’s doped with high and mistakes it from real happiness.

“Isn’t falling the goal here?” Jaehyun admitted he’s touched but no.

“I’m petty, sensitive and selfish.”

“And I think that’s your charm.”

“I’m difficult to please.”

“Just let me and I’ll please you in any way conceivable.” Doyoung had that undeniably sexy smirk that warrants somebody’s pants off (his, Doyoung’s, preferably both) and left it neglected on the floor.

“Stop it! Stop it! It’s madness.” Jaehyun his initial resolve reign.

“You’re making things up. You can’t just this is not real. That what I’m feeling is not true. For all I care, just say no.” Inside, he’s rallying ‘hell fucking yes!’

“Roll call, buddy! I am not stirring things up. You were there. You even went to the trouble documenting shit. In paper, those reasons were craft but Doyoung, it’s fucking real, twisted a little maybe but the essence is there! That lists contains the reasons why people left me.” Jaehyun wanted to add more but his throat was hacked with painfully suppressed cries. He would like to blurt out how some oversimplified this situation. Wearing masks and pretending was just the most apparent but before that, people who’s at the receiving end has to blast, cauterize their faces, tear away those ugly blemishes that their past lovers used to evoke freedom until their skins turned thin and finally put on another.

Because people who were abandoned needs to be different.

People like him needed to change.

People like him must reinvent themselves.

But in Jaaehyun’s case, he learned a lot/

“You’re too giving.”

> He learned to be coy when he aches to touch.

“You’re too sensitive.”

> He learned to play dumb, bottling his feelings, stuff it temporarily and spill it in tears in solitude.

“You’re too perfect.”

Jaehyun did not even what to change or see it as a flaw or be enough of a break-up excuse. He learned to hurt, himself, others, any.

With every succeeding break-up, his face feels thicker with another addition to his masks. Heavy, piling but a necessity to carry. Heavy but at the same time light because his being is melted, fibers untangled as they are unwanted.

 

But if Doyoung were to end it…them, that’s a different case. Because with his best friend, he can paint his masks brightly, colors virtually unlimited. Because with his best friend by his side, he had the courage to knock them down when they’re away from public and reminisce what it’s feels to be himself. And if parting away means severing all ties, including friendship, then severing his own heart would be the only thing he can do to live again.

Jaehyun can’t reject him. So, he runs.

Doyoung follows. So, he making him runaway.

If Jaehyun can’t fret then Doyoung must take his offer back, forget it was ever spoken or at most let it be an ‘almost’ because parting at that point is equivalent to dying.

“That list is pure garbage. I was there. With you. Always.” That’s the most frightening part. Doyoung is. Jaehyun already exposed himself too much. And he can make do anything without putting up a goddamn fight. Because he knows him too well, better even with himself, that he cowers.

“I’m falling for you, hard and fast, Jae. I know you are, too. I know you are scared. But so am I.” Doyoung pleads yet he won’t budge. He silently prays Doyoung to go away. Forget this restore who they were? Or gone for good? Either way it’s easier since he hadn’t invested a spare.

Cold overtook his system when Doyoung completely detaches from him. He fastens his tears, begging his ducts to delay the flooding until Doyoung opens the door, footsteps progressively grow quieter with every step taken until he can finally cry.

But all can hear was the ear-bleeding sound of paper being forced to separate from the bundle of leaves then an angry pen writing as if being wielded by a hot-blooded author in his fleeting enlightenment, birthing brilliance in rough.

When he finally had spare Doyoung a glance, the man was pinning up a fully-consumed paper on his corkboard. ‘His exes and why’s’ the header says. It was the exact same leaf were he placed his notes but the reasons were extended with names in addendum. Some names were sourly familiar and some were forgotten. Forgotten because the relationship is a jest and no better than that, and some forgotten because they were too burdensome to carry around.

He had mixed feelings about it, contradicting. Should he slit Doyoung in his jugular for reintroducing him to carefully weeded out memories or kiss him senseless for giving him that huge space in his mind to imprint fine, impertinent details of his life he himself would obliterate.

He reads the expanded list through and thorough. So far there were nineteen bullets each with names and a brief reconnaissance but there was one particular name that stood out: Kim Dongyoung (bulleted with a sick throbbing heart) ; Reasons: upgraded Jaehyun to wife status.

“Holy shit.” Jaehyun’s fist fly to Doyoung side, giving him love taps (would definitely bruise if a sissy *couch*Ten*cough* who receive the same). “It’s been like 5 minutes of asking to date and you’re already like this.” Jaehyun can’t feel his face anymore. A smile stretch on his face, and a childlike happiness spread his body, feeling this…whatever its name is.

“Sorry! Marriage is a lot.” Doyoung was scratching the tail ends of his hear bashfully.

“Yep! That and the fact that you’re on par with the king of boyfriends makes my previous relationship look like miserable internships.” Well he was envious because Doyoung is superbly natural in this but he had lots of time to learn from him.

“So are we…official?” Doyoung hopefully asked.

Jaehyun stuck his tongue out, cheekily rejecting him, again!!!

Doyoung huffs, patience plucked but persistence was his middle name. “I swear, now you’re just playing.”

“Three, two, one!” Jaehyun counted ten seconds before lurching his body on Doyoung’s emboldened stature, squeezing himself as small as possible and fit himself in the mid-space Doyoung’s limbs could manifest. “Now we are official. Yeyy~”

Doyoung was insanely happy but Doyoung is Doyoung and to be Doyoung he needs to ask ‘Why did you have to delay for like 10 seconds?”

“To end my birthday.”

“Why?” Why did Doyoung asked, because he can.

“tsk tsk. I had separate my birthday from our anniversary. You know how tragic it is to be born on Valentines! Two-in-one gifting is real. And three-in-one would be a nightmare. Plus the chances of you ruining a special day would significantly increase.”

“Sneaky.”

“Was that a complement or something that would replace your reason in the list.

“Honestly, that gave me a weird boner.”

“Would you mind me giving you a hand. Pun very very much intended.”

“Oh! Please do!”


End file.
